We talk differently to people depending on circumstances, and how we anticipate they'll respond to us.
With
the way Compton has received an infusion of cultural capital in the
past year because of the movie re-hashing NWA's rise and fall and
Kendrick Lamar everything, you'd think it'd always be something to
proudly declare, but not always so, particularly with people I don't
know.
Generally in everyday conversation with
acquaintances and people I don't immediately know, I try to show
"alignment." That is, I just try to see where they're coming from and
then "show" how similar I am to them.
With "people whom
I've met only briefly", the conversation is all about getting to know a
person, and "where I live" would be a primary question.
By
"showing alignment", I am likely not going to mention that I am from
Compton, unless they ask, but in a way that doesn't seem like they'd
think any less of me and/or disregard any of my future opinions.
For
example, when meeting new people, for me it's really difficult to tell
white people who are generations before me because either they are
outside of California and do not know the reference to Compton, they are
from California and are probably likely to associate Compton with
negativity.
In contrast, "people with whom I am in
regular contact", we have an
established certain pattern of interacting. Were beyond introductions
and more about talking about whatever we've established talking about
and updating each other on aspects of our lives. "Where I live" would
usually be a
question embedded within an established history of conversation.
So,
here's a sampling of different people I've encountered over the past
three years, their demographics, the circumstance in which I've
introduced my town, and my relation to them divided by race. I divide
on race, because in one-to-one interaction, it is the one attribute you
can't really do anything to hide unless you're talking to a room of
blind.
I don't think that we are inherently
"different" as peoples of different races. I don't think "white people
are a certain way, black people are a certain way etc.", but depending
on your race (as well as class-gender-ethnicity-etc.), you will have
associations, knowledges, and behaviors ascribed to your race. We as humans all carry very arbitrary, imperfect associations, knowledges, and behaviors of different races and ethnicities.
As you will read, those associations, knowledges, and behaviors constrain how both any given individual views and is viewed.
TO WHITE PEOPLE WITH WHOM I AM IN REGULAR CONTACT (OR USED TO BE): With these older people, I haven't really talked about
where I live. I avoid it, or were too deep into the relationship
talking about other things that where I live hasn't come up. With
younger folks, I talk about it and it's not an issue after that.
To a blue-collar male co-worker in his mid-50s living in Orange County:
I wrote about this guy here.
Though I've developed a pretty good working relationship with him, I
still avoid the topic as much as possible. I have not mentioned at all
that I
live in Compton. He thinks that I live in Long Beach, because I'd
mentioned that I was "still" in Long Beach when I was running late one
day.
To a college-educated male co-worker in his mid-50s formerly living in Culver City: Unlike
the guy above, I would actually talk to this guy. He'd even met my
wife and has seen my baby. He would talk about old Los Angeles, things
he'd done on our job around LA, and trips he'd taken across the country
and abroad. I never mentioned living in Compton, but it wasn't because I
did not want to tell him; the topic just never came up.
To a graduate-school educated male lawyer in his mid-30s living in New England: Last time I saw this guy was my wedding. I warned him, told him, he drove in with his wife. Great times had.
To a some college female co-worker in her 40s-50s living in West Covina:
I trained this person on a project. She was friendly and asked about
my baby. I met her for the first time right after the shootings in San
Bernardino and she said that she had ties to the facility. I was trying
to feel her out based on how she was reacting. She never really asked
so I never mentioned that I live in Compton.
To a some college male co-worker in his mid-20s living in Venice:
This guy I'd actually consider my friend. I actually had him visit the
house in Compton, on a Friday night. The first thing he did was call
his brother and ask him, "hey guess where I am?"
TO WHITE PEOPLE WHOM I'VE MET ONLY BRIEFLY:
I'm very guarded against older white people and try to get a feel for
their political leanings. With younger people, I usually just try to
lay cultural references thick on the "millennials."
To a college-educated female "co-worker" in her early 30s visiting from Washington, DC:
She was there to observe me for a job, specifically for jobs in
Compton. I told her that we'd be visiting the area. She seemed
somewhat indifferent even as I was trying to make the rap references
which seemed only vaguely familiar to her. She had the company-rented
car and didn't mind leaving her car in a Compton neighborhood, a very
suburban-Lakewood-ish-appearing area south of Rosecrans on the West
side.
To a some college immigrant realtor in her 50s living in Upland: She
was curious about the job I was doing. I explained my job. We got
into a deeper conversation about children as she was carting around her
grandson.
I initially told her I live in "Los Angeles."
As the conversation snowballed and knowing her realtor sensibilities, I
got comfortable enough to reveal that my wife. As I expected, she
remarked that "buying" and "owning" is better than renting.
TO BLACK PEOPLE WITH WHOM I AM IN CONTACT REGULARLY (OR USED TO BE)
By "black people", I mean "black Americans." Black Americans usually know what Compton is and what it means. Despite living in Compton, I don't run across many from outside
who would really question the experience. I think I garner more of an
"oh really? Cool" sentiment from the very few that I know.
To a college-educated male former roommate and postman in his early 40s living in Long Beach: This guy was a transplant from the Midwest, whom I described on my former other blog. When I first told him bout my new digs in Compton, he told me to invite him over.
To a college-educated female birthing midwife in her late 40s-early 50s living in Upland: We
told her kind of hesitantly that we lived in Compton, attempting to
hint at the fact that it was a more Latino neighborhood in which there
had been a hate crime. She responded in a way that said, "really, you
think I'd be scared of Compton?"
TO ASIAN PEOPLE WITH WHOM I AM IN CONTACT REGULARLY (OR USED TO BE):
This is pretty much family members and friends, so on one hand, I know
they're supportive, but sometimes they might drop subtle cues. Also,
since they're family and friends, I likely told them some two years ago
in 2013-2014.
To a college-educated female immigrant nurse in her early 60s living in Santa Clarita: This is one of the aunties from my mom's class who seems to like me a lot. She actually visited me one time.
To a college-educated female nurse in her early 30s living Culver City: I went to grade school
with her, she was a year behind me. We both ended up graduating from
the same college, though I transferred from Slug Nation. She's a nurse
now, and is still close to one of my close family friends. When I told her that we were living in Compton, she asked, "straight up?" The kicker is that
she is going to marry a guy with whom I went to high school with and
also was a year behind me, and also ended up at the same college. So I
had to explain further, "yeah, it's the cheapest place to buy a house!"
To a college-educated female teacher in her early 30s living in Eagle Rock: This is the "close family friend" whom I mentioned in the synopsis previous to this one.
She's been more like an older sister. She was supportive, after all
she'd worked very close to the area. Though she did wonder, if I'd ever
be able to sell the house that we'd bought.
To a college-educated male counselor in his early 30s living in the San Fernando Valley: This
is my best man. He's a big fan of the wire and hip-hop, and especially
Kendrick Lamar. I try to let him know about significant locations
here.
To a college-educated male engineer in his early 30s living in Orange County: One of my groomsmen whom I've grown up with and told to visit, but he hasn't visited. But I think it's mostly because he's busy.
A graduate school educated female pharmacist in her early 30s living in West Covina and a graduate school educated counselor in her her early 30s living in Pasadena: I
remember the conversation when I revealed to her and another friend
that we were living in a house. I came off already apologizing for our
location. I said something like "It's Compton, but..." They replied at different times saying essentially, "...but it's a house!"
TO ASIAN PEOPLE WHOM I'VE ONLY MET BRIEFLY: Like with older white people, I also am guarded and try to get a quick read on their political leanings.
To a blue-collar male welder in his late 60s living in Torrance: I
met this guy while on a job in a beach city. He was seeing me doing my
job, and was bragging at how he had been a veteran, and for a long-time
an expert welder. He talked about his trips to different places. He
encouraged me to go to school for welding at El Camino College so I
could "better myself." I did not mention the city I live in to him.
To a college graduate female graduate student in her mid 20s living in LA: I
met this girl while doing a big project. We found similar academic
interests. She was from San Jose. I was kinda trying to get a feel for
how she'd react but I let out that I live in Compton...but for economic
reasons. She appeared to show alignment and understanding of my
reasoning.
TO LATINO PEOPLE WITH WHOM I AM IN CONTACT REGULARLY (OR USED TO BE):
Similar to the situation with black folk, I don't really have any
issues telling any of them regardless of education, class, gender, or
age that I'm from Compton. Usually I can joke with them about it,
and/or comfortably invite them over with no issues.
To a blue-collar male co-worker in his early 30s living in South LA: Dude I'd consider the homey. He regularly comes to drop work off. He even has a girlfriend in the area.
To a blue-collar male co-worker in his early 30s living in East LA: Dude I'd consider the homey. He doesn't come to drop work off. We still joke a bit.
To a blue-collar male barber in his early 70s living in Gardena:
This guy's my barber. He collects clocks and stuff from the '50s,
which is displayed prominently all over his barber shop. I only
recently started really getting close with him after my 3rd or 4th
haircut, especially after I found that he's actually Mexican (thought he
was some Italian guy from New York), and after a roving vendor with
socks tried to sell me socks and called me a "verga" for pretending to
be interested, when I was just trying to be nice. Anyhoo, I didn't
really have much issue telling him that I was living in Compton. He
told me he was from Watts, and the conversation went on and on from
there.
To a some college female immigrant superior in her early 30s living in West Covina:
Now this person is kind of my boss, but she's pretty cool. After a few
projects under our belt, we've developed a pretty close working
relationship. Our conversations are really always about work, but
sometimes we deviate and talk about our families. I'd never really
mentioned the city to her, except for job purposes. I don't really talk
about it because I don't know how familiar she would be with any of the
cultural references.
TO LATINO PEOPLE I'VE ONLY MET BRIEFLY
To a blue-collar male in his mid 20s living in South LA: I
was working with this guy who had some punk rock T-shirt on all the
time and was supposed to work with the company. He told me that he
lived in South LA. I told him I lived up the street.
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